Sugar coated Mondays always get me down

     As a teacher I'm asking for all fellow teachers to rise up and beg their congress-people to never allow any holiday associated with sugar to be on a Monday. There are a number of holidays with which we have taken liberties and moved to more convenient days to better serve businesses. Why can't we move days with potential sugar blockades in order to better serve schools?

     We are at the mercy of the calendar on many holidays. This includes but is not limited to: Valentine's day, Halloween, 100th day, Winter party, and a multitude of Birthdays for students or teachers. Each and every one of these days sends shivers of delight, followed by spasms of sugar highs, down the backs of elementary students.  When a day like these fall on a Monday, or even worse, a Tuesday, teachers pay for it for days on end.

     First, there is the anticipation of sugar gorging. All morning long students watch the clock, fearful that some how, some way, they will miss the party. Considering the parties are in the classrooms where the students are sitting, that is not likely, but just try telling them that. There is also the constant peeking at the area in the room where party material is being stored. I think we should cover these materials with brown paper the way store owners hide their adult magazines. Candy is candy, whatever form it's in.

     Lunch is a chaotic free for all, with students all talking at once about how much sugar they will be eating in just a little while. Meanwhile, most of the nutritious foods on their trays go uneaten. Recess- oh Lord. They know they're getting close by then. There is no containing them.  They have so much energy you'd think they'd already consumed a 5lb bag of sugar. The lines of students coming back into the school actually vibrate with excitement.

    Stopping at the bathroom on the way back? Good luck.  No one has to go...they think it takes too much time...they're in a hurry...they just aim close to the porcelain and move on.  Maybe their hands were waved in the vicinity of the faucet, maybe not.  But children seem to think candy can't be contaminated by dirty hands.

     Back to the door of the classroom. It's like the front of a shoe store on BOGO day. Release the hounds! And the feeding frenzy begins.

   Now, I have read studies that say sugar gives people a quick high, followed by a rapid bottom-out low. It's Thursday. Where's the low? I don't think these researchers studied the right demographic. Maybe adults bottom out quickly, but children don't seem to. There's some around here I don't think have slept since Monday.

     I think sugar holidays should float like Thanksgiving. Have them on Fridays closest to the original holiday. Then, all the sugar goes home with the students. Which makes me wonder...don't these kids ever see candy on other days of the year? Is this just a clever move on the part of parents? Bring the candy to school and have the kids eat it there. Leave the leftovers. Hmm?

     If a congressional act won't do it, then how about just making it a site-based decision on the campuses? Anyone voting against the proposal, gets lunch and recess duty all week.